OT: Recent on-line solicitation ...

[Dov Isaacs <isaacs@xxxxxxxxx>]

It isn't Friday yet, but what the heck. This was passed along
to me by a good friend. Provocative reading ...

	- Dov

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SHOULD MY LOVED ONE BE PLACED IN AN ASSISTED COMPUTING FACILITY?

For family members, it is often the most difficult and painful 
decision they will face: to accept that a loved one - a parent, 
a spouse, perhaps a sibling - is technologically impaired and 
should no longer be allowed to live independently, or come near
a computer or electronic device without direct supervision. The
time has come to place that loved one into the care of an 
Assisted Computing Facility.

But you have questions. So many questions. We at Silicon Pines
want to help.


WHAT EXACTLY IS AN "ASSISTED COMPUTING FACILITY"?

Sometimes referred to as "Homes for the Technologically Infirm", 
"Technical Invalid Care Centers", or "Homes for the Technically
Challenged", Assisted Computing Facilities (ACFs) are modeled on
assisted living facilities, and provide a safe, structured 
residential environment for those unable to handle even the 
most common, everyday multitasks. Most fully accredited ACFs,
like Silicon Pines, are an oasis of hope and encouragement that
allow residents to lead productive, technologically relevant 
lives without the fear and anxiety associated with actually 
having to understand or execute the technologies themselves.


WHO SHOULD BE IN AN ACF?

Sadly, technology is advancing at such a dramatic rate that 
many millions, of all ages, will never truly be able to 
understand it, putting an undue burden on those friends and 
family members who must explain it to them. But unless the 
loved one is suffering from a truly debilitating affliction,
such as Reinstallzheimers, the decision to commit is entirely
personal. You must ask yourself:

"How frustrated am I that my parent/sibling/spouse is unable
to open an email attachment?"

"How much of my time should be taken up explaining how RAM is
different from hard drive memory?"

"How many times can I bear to hear my father say, 'Hey, can I
replace the motherboard with a fatherboard? Ha ha ha!'"

To make things easier, we have prepared a list of Warning Signs
which we encourage you to return to often, or, if you can't 
figure out how to bookmark it, print out. Also, please take a 
moment to read "I'm Glad I'm in Here! - A Resident's Story".


MUST IT BE FAMILY, OR CAN I PLACE ANYONE IN AN ACF?

Several corporations have sought permission to have certain 
employees, or at times entire sales departments, committed to 
ACFs. At present, however, individuals can be committed only by
direct family or self-internment. The reason is simple: there
are not nearly enough ACFs in the world to accommodate all the
technologically challenged. For example there are currently only
860,000 beds available in ACFs, but there are 29 million AOL 
users.


HOW MUCH WILL IT COST?

ACF rents range from free up to $12,500 per month. The disparity
is  currently a point of contention in the ACF industry. Many
residents are covered through government programs such as 
Compuaid or Compucare, but reimbursement rates are low and only
cover a portion of the fees.

Exacerbating the situation are the HMOs (HelpDesk Maintenance 
Organizations), which often deny coverage, forcing residents to
pay out of pocket or turn to expensive private techcare insurers 
such as BlueCache/BlueScreen. Offsetting the costs are technology
companies themselves, many of which subsidize ACFs. Firms such as
Microsoft, Dell, Qualcomm, and America Online will pay up to 100
percent of a resident's monthly bill, but there is a catch. ISPs,
for instance, require residents to sign service contracts lasting
a year or more. Microsoft, meanwhile, prohibits the installation
of any competitive software, while Priceline requires that 
residents buy shares of its stock, which seems onerous but saves
residents on lavatory tissue.


HOW OLD MUST I BE TO HAVE SOMEONE COMMITTED?

Until very recently, you had to be 18 or older to legally commit a 
family member. However, the now famous British court case Frazier vs. 
Frazier and Frazier has cleared the way for minors to commit their 
parents. In that case, 15-year-old Bradley Frazier of Leicester had
his 47-year-old parents committed to an ACF in Bournemouth after a
judge ruled Ian and Janet Frazier were a "danger to themselves and
the community". According to court records, Bradley told his parents
about the "I Love You" virus and warned them not to click 
attachments, then the next day his parents received an "I Love You"
email and clicked on the attachment because, they explained, "It 
came from someone we know."


WHAT SHOULD I LOOK FOR IN AN ACF?

First, make sure it's a genuine Assisted Computing Facility, and not
an Assisted Living Facility. To tell the difference, observe the 
residents. If they look rather old and tend to openly discuss bowel 
movements, this is probably 'assisted living.' On the other hand, if
they vary in age and say things like, "I'm supposed to figure that 
out? I'm not Bill %$#*&@ Gates you know!", this is probably 
'assisted computing.'

Also, at a well-run ACF, residents should lead full, independent 
lives, and should be allowed the use of many technology devices, 
including telephones, electric toothbrushes, and alarm clocks. 
However, only a facility's Licensed Techcare Professionals (LTPs) 
should perform computational or technological tasks such as 
installing programs or saving email attachments. And LTPs should 
NEVER answer residents' questions because studies have shown that
answering user questions inevitably makes things worse. Instead,
residents should simply have things done for them, relieving them
of the pressure to "learn" or "improve".


CAN A RESIDENT EVER GET OUT?

No.


OK, THIS SOUNDS PROMISING. HOW CAN I LEARN MORE?

For your enlightenment, we offer extensive information on Silicon
Pines and the ACF lifestyle, which can be found by clicking one of
the links in the navigation bars found at both the top and bottom of
this page. But whatever you decide, keep in mind that due to demand,
ACFs now have long waiting lists. WebTV & AOL users alone will take
years to absorb. 


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